confused!

And I've realised lately how good I can be at ignoring situations when in other ones. Like now, I am at TAFE, and I can talk to Jemimah and have fun and laugh, and even though in the back of my mind I am confused and aghaskdjghldgh I'm still doing what I'm doing and enjoying it as much as one can enjoy database and making stupid reports on it. And the rest of the day I will be fine and happy, although still slightly confused. Until I think too much and go to bed and everything that I've been thinking about and the decisions I have to make come and engulf me again. And then I'll wish that I could rewind the past few weeks and start again. Or that I could catch a plane and go somewhere else that is far, far away from here. Or that I was autonomous to everything and everyone but a few people. But I'm stuck. what do I do? (yes, that was rhetorical) AGH!